.....my life lies in those eyes that have me slain

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

The Verdict

People would have had a particular opinion abt me prior to the 'Vicissitudes of Life' series; and after it, the verdict might be somewhat different. Quite natural. In fact, if I were someone else reading this story, I perhaps might not find the author very credible, given the impulsive decisions taken in the past.

But is it really possible for me to prove my integrity? I can just say all the commotion was unintentional, I never wanted to play around with people's lives. But who would take my word? My Ji would, my Lord would, (as I see from the comments of my last post, abhinav wud & perhaps a few other might too!) and all my efforts to actively convince anyone else are stalled.

Anyway, I've learnt a few crucial lessons. The most important of them being never to dream, never to expect anything from others. This way we can atleast keep the unbearable disappointments at bay. The extreme blow R dealt me in yesteryears continues to have its impact. I'm the once-bitten-forever-shy types with the result that I've become very wary abt expecting anything in life. But sometimes I do give in to the temptation & end up causing a lot of angst to this already sensitive heart of mine. Well, I'm trying...practice makes one perfect, they say...

Moving on, the festival of colours just went by & I feel bad abt not wishing the world on time. Nevertheless, a very belated happy Holi to anyone who comes by this message. It's never too late to send across good wishes, is it? :) Also, it was Daddyji's (Ji's father; I'm still undecided on wut to call Ji's parents ;)) birthday this Saturday. So belated warm birthday wishes to him too.

These days there's just no work at the office. I study for my exams & when I've had enough of that, switch over to my blog, after making sure that no one's prying around. On the home front, mom's going out of town tonight for the case hearing. I'll be alone. Well I'm used to it by now; just hope my viewing of Jeepers Creepers last Friday doesn't come in the way of my bravery! And I have Kahaani Ghar Ghar Ki, Kyunki..., Kahin to Hoga and Bewitched to give me company, in addition to my books ;) lol!


i have been reading ur blogs and one thing is sure i find a solace reading ur blogs not coz u had so many things in ur life but coz ur life is closer to reality (which ofcourse not many people reveal),
u have been acting very very bravely
three cheers to u
keep blogging
# posted by Blogger saurabh ohri : Tuesday, March 29, 2005  

you are quite right... unless one has been through all this, one would judge according to whats wrong and right in a perfect world..but when you actually are in the situation, u realize there is nothing even near to perfect.. you have to decide on the moment according to what seems right at that moment.. all the best for the future...
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : Tuesday, March 29, 2005  

hi saurabh...u find a solace in reading my posts! that's one of the best compliments i've got for my blog! thank u so much...i'm all smiles! :)

thanks for ur wishes anonymous!
# posted by Blogger Vidhi : Tuesday, March 29, 2005  

Hey V, why do you want to convince anyone? You know what you did was all right...and as long as you and those who matter to you are convinced, why worry about the world? There will always be people who think you are wrong, no matter how pure your act....so never worry about the world......

Cheers! And keep going!!! And blogging ! :-)
# posted by Blogger Darth Midnightmare : Tuesday, March 29, 2005  

see i shud acccept that anyone who hasnt gone thru the tremors and realities of life cant appreciate life.as u say water is of importance to a thirsty man only.
and i think after all this u must be truly appreciating ur luv with ji.those who were not important were filtered out.
and i shud again say ur a brave girl
keep going
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : Tuesday, March 29, 2005  

hey V, n thanx for generating sum publicity for me by naming me in ur post.but frankly , I feel you were a little weak sometimes , but never evil.some people do wrong , but sometimes things just go wrong.

# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : Wednesday, March 30, 2005  

ya r right johnny...i cant please everyone; in fact, i shudnt need to!

ya saurabh i thoroughly realize the worth of wut has happened...! i wish i cud be braver!

abhinav, well said, sometimes things just go wrong. but i wont chicken out by putting the entire blame on circumstances. i did go wrong at a few places, but then like u said, the intentions were not evil!
# posted by Blogger Vidhi : Wednesday, March 30, 2005  

"i did go wrong at a few places"

What makes you think that? The outcome? Don't let that affect things.....outcomes are independent of the choices you make being right or wrong. You take certain steps and make decisions within constraints and believing you are doing the right thing. Hindsight is a wonderful gift....but never let it make you think your choice was wrong....because at that moment when you made it, it was right....and it will always remain right, regardless of the outcome....
# posted by Blogger Darth Midnightmare : Wednesday, March 30, 2005  

no johnny, not the outcome. i am very happy with my Ji; just the guilt that perhaps i caused anguish to R and RJ at some point or the other...
# posted by Blogger Vidhi : Thursday, March 31, 2005  

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Thought for the Day
What is yours will remain yours, even when it is not with you.

About Me
24 year-old female Arian. wheatish complexion, long hair, slender frame. After being a citizen of the world an Indian to the core

Fav Books: The Alchemist, Harry Potter
Fav Movie: The eternal Titanic
Fan of: Salman Khan, the English language
Fav line: When you want something very badly, the entire universe conspires to help you have it. [The Alchemist]

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