.....my life lies in those eyes that have me slain

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Awaiting the Judgement

The revered court will pronounce its judgement, on the feud going on between mom & dad, in eight days from now. The war between love and hatred legally culminates on April 22nd. But otherwise, is there really any end to it? Unfortunately, the situation would exist till our last breath.

Dad wins if the court grants divorce, else loses. For mom the scenario is quite the reverse. But for me it's defeat either way. I can't even show or tell mom that I am breaking from within, bcoz then she would totally collapse; and if I refrain from discussing any of these matters with mom, she gets strange ideas that I care a damn what she goes through. My dearest friends (N & NL), dad, bro, Ji - all are away from me. And my Lord won't come down to let me cry on His shoulder, though I plead with him to do so - atleast once!

Just where on earth can I go to unburden myself? Where can I go & cry, without people throwing nasty glances at me, without being told that I must stop crying, so that I run out of tears to cry anymore, for once and for all?

Hope I am not accused of basking in self-pity...this blog is all the place I have in the world...

Sending up a small prayer...

Itni shakti hamein dena daata...
Mann ka vishwas kamzor ho na...

An addition:

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Remembering the greatest ship of all times...the ship of dreams...
RMS Titanic, which sank to the depths of the Atlantic, 93 years ago...


Monday, April 11, 2005

This Day...That Year

I've just completed 24 revolutions around the sun; the earth has borne me for 24 years now; 2.4 decades back I descended on this planet. Ok! How about, it's my birthday!

I once had a friend who didn't quite like the idea of celebrating birthdays. When I asked him for the reason, in a matter-of-fact manner he answered, it's bcoz we get a year closer to death. Bah! Can anything ever be more negative than that?

Today, I want to apologise to God, for the times I used to question Him for giving me a life so fraught with painful paradoxes, for the times I used to tell Him I'd rather not have been born at all, for the times I used to believe that He was plotting something sinister against me. But I've realized that no matter how miserable life is, it's a divine gift nevertheless. I know He'll never betray the blind faith I've in Him...for betrayal is known only to man, not to God. And I thank Him for letting me live...another year...to experience the grandeur of life...
Thought for the Day
What is yours will remain yours, even when it is not with you.

About Me
24 year-old female Arian. wheatish complexion, long hair, slender frame. After being a citizen of the world an Indian to the core

Fav Books: The Alchemist, Harry Potter
Fav Movie: The eternal Titanic
Fan of: Salman Khan, the English language
Fav line: When you want something very badly, the entire universe conspires to help you have it. [The Alchemist]

Favourite Haunts

Blogs I Read
The Past

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