.....my life lies in those eyes that have me slain

Monday, March 14, 2005

Vicissitudes of Life - I

I've been meaning to write this since a long time, but got delayed as the matter was huge. Here I reveal some more unpleasant memories. They are best forgotten but I wish to recollect them here to help in explaining the various 'other factors' that add to the problems in life.

My Ji brought me into the enchanting world of his love in 2002. But the period before that from mid 1997 was one of a different kind of turmoil & anxiety and replete with extreme agony. Part of it was due to my own folly.

I recollect with regret that I was involved with a guy called R. He was my classmate in 11th & 12th and he proposed to me way back in the beginning of 11th, hardly two months after we first met. Being in an all-girls school till 10th, I had no sense of direction in such situations, or in any situation involving guys. And so I agreed to enter courtship with him, within a very short span.

That was the time when the feud between mom and dad was taking an ugly turn. I was with my parents till 8th and then with my relatives for 9th and 10th. When I rejoined them in 11th, their relationship was terribly on the rocks. The only person I could share my sorrow with was R and at that time he did provide me the support I craved for.

Seems really fine till now, deosn't it? It did for me too; until one dark day when he told me that he wished to part ways with me as he couldn't afford to lose the trust his parents had put in him.

My life, my trust, my love, my heart, my dreams, my hopes, my happiness - all died a tragic death, all shattered into pieces. I had such trust in that person that I never for once thought him capable of doing such a thing to me. I could see the pain of separation in mom's eyes and just as I started praying to God never to bring me to a similar test, R chose to give me the grief I dreaded most.

R was quick to rectify his mistake and win me back again; only to repeat it at regular intervals. It became a habit with him to say he wanted to quit whenever his temper was not in control. I used to literally beg him to stay with me.

All this took an emotional toll on me. It destroyed my patience and impeded my cerebration. Nah...I ain't trying to find an alibi for my erroneous acts that follow; just presenting the background in which the following events took place...

[the rest will soon follow...]


Hmm, first timer here!!.

I can understand, as a kid it was difficult for anyone to cope up with family problems and we tend to seek for support.

But why at the first place you agreed to forgive that guy, when he came to you again and again after parting ways.

You know what, relationship or love shld be felt. When there is no trust, and you are all the time uncertain about what will happen tomorrow. Then it wont make any sense.

Anyways, all the best to you. enjoy life. :)
# posted by Anonymous Govind : Monday, March 14, 2005  

know wat ..you have the courage to declare a mistake a mistake and thats a virtue enuf to make up for any mistake.all the best to u n Ji!really hope u ppl wud have a great life together.

# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : Tuesday, March 15, 2005  

i thank u guys for ur support...

govind, i had only heard abt couples breaking up but never once did i think it cud happen to me. he always came back and apologised. so i didnt think of nething else but to forgive...

abhinav, how i wish it was only a mistake...as u shall soon find out, it wasnt. i only hope i dont lose the friends i've made here on the blog, after u ppl go thru the upcoming posts...
# posted by Blogger Vidhi : Tuesday, March 15, 2005  

..V.. I understand very well that in some situations, we crave for love and support.

But the worst thing can happen in those situations are the wrong people we are choosing for.

Its not atall our mistakes. Its a betrayal of the other person on our trust.

Your title attracted me to read this one in a stretch... This one is really expressive. :) Have a nice day buddy.
# posted by Blogger The Inspiring : Tuesday, March 15, 2005  

Hey ..V..
Thanks 4 visiting. Read many of your posts. I must say whatever the situations, you are a strong girl. And does your name start with a V? (as does mine:P)
c ya soon. keep updating :)
# posted by Blogger Vaibhav : Wednesday, March 16, 2005  

it is so tough that you start relying on someone that you think you are abl to trust and then that person breaks you. You lose faith in everything. So sorry to hear about what had happened to you and it is part of your life, can't just not think abt. it anymore, but it is good to think about what you do have today. Instead of being unstable with R, you are now stable and happy with Ji. :) May their only be happiness and love for the both of you together!
# posted by Anonymous Poonam : Wednesday, March 16, 2005  

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What is yours will remain yours, even when it is not with you.

About Me
24 year-old female Arian. wheatish complexion, long hair, slender frame. After being a citizen of the world an Indian to the core

Fav Books: The Alchemist, Harry Potter
Fav Movie: The eternal Titanic
Fan of: Salman Khan, the English language
Fav line: When you want something very badly, the entire universe conspires to help you have it. [The Alchemist]

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